Awkward and weird have become the new buzzwords at our house of teens and preteens. It seems with middle school things that use to be normal or funny are now awkward and weird. As my girls become more aware of what their friends think and less concerned about what I think, I have also become awkward and weird. And here I thought I was hip and cool...not so much!
My 6th grader does not have a cell phone. EVERYone else her age has one...this according to her of course. And she probably isn't too far off from that being fact. It does seem the age for cell phones is getting younger and younger. Our family takes a fairly conservative stance on cell phones and texting in general. Our 9th grader got texting for Christmas and she was literally the last one in her class. However, since getting texting I don't talk to her on the phone anymore. She just texts me. I may hear from her more often, but rarely by her voice. That's sad to me.
Recently my 6th grader was pitching me her latest on why she should have a cell phone and I was listening with rapt attention. Her argument was that she just didn't know what to tell people when they asked for her number. I told her to give our home number. To which I got a roll of the eyes and a "Mooommmm, that would be so weird". WHAT?? What is so weird about that? She went on to explain that if someone other than her answered the home phone her friends would think that was weird. Really? She went on to educate me by telling me that they all have their own number and they are the only ones that answer their phones so it is not weird at all.
Okay...now who is weird?
Have we really gotten to the point where kids can't converse with adults or siblings on the phone when they call for someone? This is all the more reason NOT to give her a cell phone. I know it is convenient for our kids to have a cell number, but is convenience causing us to lose sight of the bigger picture? Think about the identity of having your very own number to be reached at by all of your friends. That is a HUGE privilege!!
I worry about our kids and their communication style. I don't know that waiting until 9th grade for texting did any good for us or if she jumped in and didn't miss a beat. I do think we missed the middle school text drama and for that I am thankful. My goal in delaying a phone is simply to make sure that my kids are mature enough to handle the responsibility that goes with the privilege.
Texting is here to stay, but we are still the parents and setting limits with technology is still our responsibility. Each device or app requires more parenting on our part. Maybe the reason I don't give phones/texting sooner is that I am just lazy. It's one less thing I have to police. I am okay with that. And for now, you can reach my 4th and 6th grader on the old fashioned land line (ours is even attached to the wall...gasp!!).
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