Answering Some Questions

I have had such an amazing response to our family's new chore system that I thought I would post some answers to questions that keep coming up:

1. Do you ding for other behavior issues or hygiene related problems that have to be reminded?

A: No. We only ding for work related offenses. This includes attitude about a job/chore. For example, if a child is asked to do something and they are sassy then it can be dinged. If that child is fighting with her sister then that requires another consequence. Hygiene reminders are not dinged, but any suggestions are welcome! :o)

2. How much allowance is given and what is it based on?

A: We based our system on need and age and responsibility. The oldest child has more spend opportunities and can take on more responsibility so she makes the most. There is also something to be said for tenure...she's been around the longest. This question is also asked about children who drive and gas money. My suggestion is that you look at what you are currently spending on gas and use that as a base number. 

The object here is to create a reward for a job well done, but not to give so much that they will not need to work the next month. We also didn't want to give so much that they didn't feel the need to work outside the house or pick up extra jobs when they were posted. The number you start with can be fluid to some degree. Let the kids know that everyone is learning together and some things may have to adjust, but err on the side of caution. It's easy to give a raise...impossible to take it away.

3. What do you do if the children live in two homes?

A: Our children do live in two homes and we have two different schedules. Our oldest is with us for a week and with her mom for a week. Our youngest two are with us every week and with their dad every other weekend and one night during the week. So...we called the other parents and told them what we were observing and our plan to address it. We were thankful that they agreed whole heartedly and jumped on board. We pay the allowance from our house, but they  benefit from work done at theirs. They report dings to us each week and we deduct accordingly. They do the same basic work for the other house as here. 

I am aware that not all divorce situations are amicable, but if you have specific questions please feel free to email me at dewinglife@gmail.com and we can discuss this further.

4. Is the money earned outside the home put into the savings formula?

A: Yes. All money is put into the jar and paid out at the end of each month. This way it gets tithed on and saved. This may get some blow back if you have children who earn outside money for babysitting or mowing lawns and they are use to pocketing that money. We did this to teach them giving off the top and saving. That way they are giving and saving off of their TOTAL earnings. Remember, we are teaching life skills and fiscal responsibility. 

5. Do you pay for sports or hobbies or school activities or do the kids?

A: I think each family has to make this decision on their own. We pay for anything related to school or sport, but not hobbies. For example, my daughter takes sewing lessons and she pays for that and any supplies related to that, but I pay for her tennis lessons. I will admit that I had some guilt in this and when I told her that I would not be paying for sewing she wasn't happy, but I explained all the other things I was still paying for and she began to think. Finally, she said, "You know what? I can make things sewing and sell them to pay for my class and supplies!" Brilliant child!! If I had not asked her to pay for this, I would have robbed her from the opportunity to be creative! Brilliant mom!!

6. How do you set the in-house job rate?

A: We post additional jobs on the board and we pay a $5/hour rate. An example might be: Bring firewood up to the porch or Sweep out the garage and straighten the bikes, balls, etc. Those might pay $1/load and $2 or $3 for the garage...depending. It's funny that some children will scoff at the low pay amounts (usually the older ones) and the younger ones will jump on them. These "little" jobs that take no time will be the difference at the end of the month in who makes the most. No job is too small. The other thing we do on these jobs is post them the beginning of the week and what is not picked off by Saturday moves to a Work Day job and is not paid out extra. It is amazing to me that our kids will let those jobs sit and then have to do them for free, but there is a lesson in that too.

7. What if one child does another's work...do they get paid their money and does that incur a ding on the other?

A: No and no. If the kids work a swap or a deal out amongst themselves we let that stand. I like to see them working together to make the system work for them. Good team work.

Last but not least

8. Do you meet individually with the kids to start or collectively?

A: I think individual meetings are important. Each of our kids had different concerns and questions. Their responses to the new system were consistant with their personalities. One was fine, one made it a competition and tried to be perfect (then we had to deal with her failure when she realized that wasn't possible) and one cried and said she could never do this. Having private meetings allowed us to address and encourage each child according to her own needs and concerns. Our pay out meetings are done individually as well. We asked for feedback during that meeting and made some adjustments based on what we heard. 

The key to getting them on board is to make it fun and show them the upside. They will see the downside automatically. These are chores that most of our kids are suppose to be doing now earning nothing so this is a way to get them some money for them to begin to learn fiscal responsibilities while also learning that hard work is rewarded. It is not a system to encourage perfection or competition. We talk about that a lot. Dings will happen and for the child that is a perfectionist it is a great teaching tool. 

I hope this helps and answers most of your questions. The important thing is that you are consistant and use a system that works for your family. This system is working for us.